when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
that's an acceptable place to lick
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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