i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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