Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
