just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
