I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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