i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I need to align my fucking chakras
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
