Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
