Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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