wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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