I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
