I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
a search helicopter?!
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
