i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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