Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
