After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
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