matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize