Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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