hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love