Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher. http://tfl.nu/b9fx
  Replies (6) Good night (621) Bad night (1573)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  bl l w

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): bl l w (201): this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel. http://tfl.nu/4an5
  Replies (63) Good night (8563) Bad night (809)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even? http://tfl.nu/nzpq
  Replies (52) Good night (12408) Bad night (993)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful http://tfl.nu/3xv5
  Replies (4) Good night (1215) Bad night (3124)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis. http://tfl.nu/m4yy
  Replies (6) Good night (1053) Bad night (2994)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop

  (213): View more from California

  so that means christmas in space?

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop (213): so that means christmas in space? (781): imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi http://tfl.nu/5ssx
  Replies (14) Good night (7126) Bad night (1330)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season http://tfl.nu/bvhl
  Replies (4) Good night (2444) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat. http://tfl.nu/ctm6
  Replies (5) Good night (1786) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance http://tfl.nu/oovm
  Replies (8) Good night (2239) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there. http://tfl.nu/8rlf
  Replies (8) Good night (972) Bad night (2943)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Bouncers are people too...giant angry people

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night (815): Bouncers are people too...giant angry people http://tfl.nu/aryb
  Replies (3) Good night (1313) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way. http://tfl.nu/uitb
  Replies (7) Good night (616) Bad night (939)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best. http://tfl.nu/j1qb
  Replies (3) Good night (1017) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times http://tfl.nu/cj8x
  Replies (0) Good night (509) Bad night (258)
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (709): Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter http://tfl.nu/qto5
  Replies (5) Good night (629) Bad night (134)

Randomize