Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night

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  (248): God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night http://tfl.nu/0w8x
  Replies (4) Good night (1026) Bad night (505)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?

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  (919): Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen? http://tfl.nu/378f
  Replies (18) Good night (2245) Bad night (714)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.

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  (203): my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath. http://tfl.nu/lzk1
  Replies (9) Good night (1256) Bad night (3010)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.

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  (281): I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT. http://tfl.nu/8oew
  Replies (144) Good night (10141) Bad night (772)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.

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  (917): My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays. http://tfl.nu/9drw
  Replies (77) Good night (1153) Bad night (4341)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher

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  (714): He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher http://tfl.nu/npc9
  Replies (21) Good night (1189) Bad night (6548)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go

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  (817): You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go http://tfl.nu/d1mz
  Replies (15) Good night (5339) Bad night (1396)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"

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  (631): Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it" http://tfl.nu/tnve
  Replies (40) Good night (5374) Bad night (5185)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.

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  (973): composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals. http://tfl.nu/kw2o
  Replies (13) Good night (5366) Bad night (996)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?

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  (260): how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'? http://tfl.nu/cg25
  Replies (10) Good night (1587) Bad night (509)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.

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  (585): Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello. http://tfl.nu/2jqd
  Replies (6) Good night (824) Bad night (1717)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again

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  (+44): tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again http://tfl.nu/n6kd
  Replies (29) Good night (1985) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...

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  (262): I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf... http://tfl.nu/zbk2
  Replies (4) Good night (505) Bad night (1521)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.

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  (225): Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into. http://tfl.nu/6a63
  Replies (3) Good night (572) Bad night (339)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.

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  (707): Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices. http://tfl.nu/gh6b
  Replies (14) Good night (235) Bad night (647)

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