this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
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and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
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I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.