so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.