i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
