he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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