You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
