I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize