my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize