Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
