C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize