I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
