my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize