I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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