You work out of a Hotel?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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