Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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