So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
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I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
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What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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