I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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