Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
