I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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