Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
she looked like the before picture.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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