??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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