it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
