i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize