At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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