How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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