your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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