Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
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How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
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Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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