your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
