I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
