I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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