Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
