I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
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IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
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Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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