have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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