If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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