I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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