Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
