Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
