Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
